Please Stop Telling Women that the Pandemic is a “Good Time” to Have a Baby
Updated: May 20, 2021
If you’ve ever said, “you’re so lucky to be having a baby right now!” or “it’s actually an ideal time to have a baby when you think about it,” STOP NOW.
I’ve heard both of those things and many variations in between. If that gets a raised eyebrow, you are probably on the right track with your thinking.
The truth is that the pandemic has been emotionally exhausting ~obviously~ for everyone. The fear of being sick, worry for loved ones, anxiety being inundated with “numbers” every day, and the millions of other feelings is horrible. And needless to say, 2020 was a BITCH.
Now imagine all of those feelings compounded by having anxiety, depression, or other struggles with mental health.
Now imagine having those same feelings and experiences with the added ones that come along with even the most seamless of pregnancies (although if you’ve been pregnant, you probably laughed at the possibility of a seamless pregnancy). You are always going to be worried about how that little thing taking up residence inside of you is doing, what you’re eating, if your bathwater is too hot, if you’ve been standing too close to that goddamn microwave and so on.
From my own experience, being pregnant during COVID was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It was hard, unbearably lonely and scary. One of the biggest challenges was not having people to talk to who had experienced both the pandemic and pregnancy at the same time. It was like understanding and being understood only halfway each time.
In fairness, we did decide to have a baby during this time, so we weren’t going in blindly. But even so.
The fact of the matter is that people generally shouldn’t voice their opinion on when someone else chooses to have a baby.
Once they’re pregnant – and this is applicable to most situations – your thoughts are irrelevant. It’s too late for you to sway them and you might as well do your best to be supportive… or butt out altogether.