For a lot of women, transition periods in their life can bring about a lot of changes to their self-confidence – girls hitting puberty, undergrads reinventing themselves in a university space, aging.
All of those apply to me, but one that really shook my sense of self was pregnancy.
Like most women, I’ve had my moments when it comes to self-esteem (growing up, my family called me “rolls” and continued to compare my figure to others despite being a healthy size, so you know… there are a few issues there…). Like most women, I say I’m fat too often and appreciate my kickass body too rarely.
Ladies, let’s just agree to try our best to fix this behaviour.
Thank goodness for the Body Positive movement taking root right now because everyone’s body deserves some appreciation.
Before I became pregnant, I had a lot of girlfriends who went on about how nervous they were to “ruin their bodies” with a baby, but it wasn’t a big concern to me. However, once I was pregnant, my body changed in ways I never imagined.
I lost a lot of weight at the beginning of my pregnancy, so tops that had fit a curvy bod now made me feel awkward, boyish and distinctly unsexy. Later on in my pregnancy, my belly sat in a way that made it look small when I wanted it to look obvious. At the very end of my pregnancy, I wanted to not look on the verge of an explosion.
Essentially, pregnancy is just a microcosm for life – you are going to change size and when you do, you will feel a lot better knowing that it happens to everyone and choosing clothing items that are forgiving when you gain a few, that flatters areas you aren’t a fan of, or saying bye to clothes that make your confidence plummet.
When your stomach hurts at the touch of a slight breeze, you realize real quick which clothes are doing you dirty and not the other way around. Pants that I squeezed into to have that pleasantly tight upper thigh were a no-go (that trick with the hairband worked for a minute or two but soon I needed a more permanent solution that didn’t risk flashing anyone at work).
One very important lesson that I learned was that dressing needs to be about comfort first, and everything else second. Life’s too short for clothes that aren’t for you – fuck that. Give that awkward shirt to a friend, donate those too-tight pants, say no thanks to that unisex 5k t-shirt from a charity event or handwash that weird pair of jeans that fit perfectly.
If your body doesn’t feel right in a piece of clothing, opt out.